Amy Winehouse revealed this week that her new addiction is to tanning. Okay fine…I’ll bite on that one…but the real mystery is how a genius tanning parlor attendant convinced her that 40 watt bulbs can tan skin? Is she using the Easy-Bake Oven Tanning salon, because Winehouse is about as tan as a cube of ice?
Her friends and family, who are seemingly in a constant state of publicly stated heightened concern, are however not so sure this new addiction is a suitable replacement to heroin, hooch, and the very difficult addiction of spitting on and beating up paying fans. None the less, her friends have again come to her desperately underpublicized aid to clear the air after Winehouse purchased a tanning bed for home. According to Telegraph.co.uk a “friend” had this to say:
“She bought it to get rid of scabs that started appearing on her skin,” the friend said.
Nice. Did I really need to know that? Looks like somebody forgot to read The Unabridged Guide to Friendship. The next time I get something reminiscent of a flesh eating skin disorder I’ll make sure my friends share that information with the four corners of the news media. Secondly, why in the name of Pete Doherty would Winehouse use tanning as a medical means to treat reoccurring scabs when everyone knows that a good blood-letting will cure it in no time!
Either way…if that’s her new attention getting addiction then maybe it’ll take the pressure off her full time ambition to smoke her cracked out lungs into charred pieces of bacon bits. It’s not an easy thing when all your time is spent masterfully alienating your fans and demolishing your amazing voice while drunkenly defending the Trainspotting dead weight around your neck called a husband. The girl could really use a vacation from all of that and if providing excess doses of harmful skin-cancer inducing UV rays does the trick…I say GO FOR IT AMY! Besides, maybe all the radiation will give the early stage emphysema a run for its money.
On the other hand, perhaps Winehouse should stop this ridiculous addiction to addictions behavior and grow up. It’s depressing to those of us who sing badly in the shower to watch a musical talent with a provocative sound insist on driving the music out of her soul with every toxin this side of Keith Richards. Though, at least with this addiction she’ll have a nice half-cooked mini chocolate cake after her tanning sessions.
