Find the man in the coffee beans.

Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, the right half of your brain is better developed than most people. If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, the right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger!!!

Pink Floyd’s Rick Wright Dead at 65.

us and him.

The man who penned “The Great Gig In The Sky” and “Us And Them” from Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon, has died of cancer at age 65 this week.  My sole statement is that Pink Floyd has altered not only the world, but helped to alter it’s state of conciousness for years with it’s music.  It’s different, unique, and so was Wright who’s led a musical path of the unknown and left a legacy of unrivaled steps.  How deep his imprint on music and our ears.

Air Guitar World Championships? – or what I like to call the official ‘No Talent Ass Clown Championships’

What happens when a group of people discover they like to “rock out” to music and want to be rock stars and have the fanfare without all the hard work and effort of actually learning about music or learning to play music.  It’s called the  Air Guitar World Championships….and yes…there’s a real audience in this video.  A real, sad, audience.  Anyway – I’m putting this video up in hopes to remind people that just because you have an audience, doesn’t make the shit you’re pulling legitimate. By the way…the guy you’re watching has named himself ‘Hot Lixx Hulahan’ ….even though the only ‘lixx’ he plays are in the air.

Michael Jackson: Nostalgic for afros and noses.

If we could turn back time....

This week in crazy sh*t Michael Jackson is up to:

1)  Apparently he’s been hooked up out and about on “secret dates” with Pamela Anderson. <—seriously.  Footnote:  Lisa Presley

2)  Still being sued for a variety of contractual breaches.

3)  Turning 50 years old and looks like a fondue pot of Monterrey Jack with a bit of eye liner.

4)  He still likes taking the stunned rapper ‘Akon’ to the movies while donning pajamas and headscarves.

Can’t we just go back to the days of yore??  I’m crying out for a little Jackson 5 action and normal noses.

AMY WINEHOUSE PIC. WTF???

This pic is from July 2008.  There’s really nothing else I can say here except this is the true nature of drugs.  This is unfortunately not altered.  This was once a young woman who was put together like a marble statue and now resembles a smoked pile of ashes.  Recent reports have indicated she has recently overdosed and suffered massive convulsions as a result and because of a 36 hour cannabis bender (something that can actually be extremely dangerous) – medics have reported they now fear permanent brain damage and symptoms that resemble schizophrenia.  This one may hold true as her manager has recently canceled show after show – one of which she is currently being sued for in a French venue.

I hope someday she’ll be emotionally healthy enough to look like this again:

Madonna: Icon or Irrelevant

Clearly I should take her views serious.

Madonna fired up her new Sticky Sweet Tour in England with the usual: leather, ambiguous male dancers and lumping John McCain in with a man who destroyed approx. 6 million Jews in WWII, Adolf Hitler.

It wasn’t enough for the material grandma to visually assault the overpaying crowd with her 50+ “Sticky Sweet” Touring Buns…but apparently Madonna decided to throw in a little political statement, as self important artists tend to do, during the performance.  So on a giant video-tron during her show John McCain’s picture rolled across screen in a montage of pics including Adolf Hitler as well as Zimbabwe’s authoritarian President Robert Mugabe.

In a separate video statement, John Lennon, Al Gore, Gandhi, and Obama’s picture were together in a montage obviously more favorable and positive.

Madonna has had a bad year.  Her new album is bad.  There are reports her marriage is on the skids.  She’s in an African adopting competition with Angelina Jolie and losing.  Her brother wrote a tell-all book about her.  She just turned the big 50…which isn’t bad unless your whole career has been based on being a twenty-something sex symbol (bad in her case).  So overall, it’s not been great.  But that’s no reason for Madonna to stop using common sense or human decency for the sake of publicity and associate McCain with Hitler.

Listen, I don’t like what Bush has done for the past 8 years.  It’s because of that fact I feel like running with wild abandon into the arms of Obama.  So McCain is not neccessarily my guy.  But I certainly recognize he’s not on the same level with ADOLF HITLER!!!  OK??  Madonna once again trades human decency for a buck.  I’m not worried about the political impact it may have, because that’s giving Madonna and her fan base fathoms more creditability she has or deserves.  This is a woman who wore cones on her boobs while trying to pull off the ‘I Dream of Jeannie’ Hairstyle.’ I’m a 28 year old in 2008…am I supposed to be impressed by that?  I’ve seen so much cooler.  Maybe that was new and fascinating in the 80’s but what have you done for me lately Madonna, other than try and shock me by using a political association?  Is she still a trendsetter?  An icon?  Is she someone who has something to say? Is she really that controversial?

No.  Madonna is tired, worn and losing her grip on our attention spans.  Society has upped the stakes and she can’t hang.  So now Mrs. Truth or Dare is grasping at the last straws to be controversially relevant, but with her last few stunts, records, and personal revelations, its now it’s very apparent how publicly irrelevant Madonna and her credibility has been all along.  The comparison to Hitler was the highlighting of Madonna’s unbelievable lack of education and sensitivity.

I may not like McCain’s party and it may be popular to bash Republicans right now because Bush has destroyed our country in and out for 8 years, but Hitler was responsible for the torturing, maiming, decapitating, gutting, burning, and general spiritual desecration of nearly 6 million people on this earth out of sheer evil. McCain isn’t even in the same cosmos as Hitler let alone the same ballpark, and Madonna should shut her gaping publicity pie hole and open a book before she decides to make political comparisons for shock value.

Bob Dylan Does a killer impression of Jack White and rocks the A.E.O.N.A.M.U. <—O.M.G.

yikes..the times are definitely changing

All joking aside, I love Dylan and The White Stripes.  I just thought this picture was similar to this one…

…only Jack is sporting a little less in the wrinkly jowls department.

As a side note, I read today Dylan performed during the American Eagle Outfitter New American Music Union created by Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.  Uh…the name could be a little bit longer please, but other than that, if Kiedis and Dylan are rockin’ out together I don’t care how long the name is, it’s going to be a good show people.

John Lennon’s Killer Gets What He Wants…It’s Just Not Parole

This week, Mark David Chapman received once again a true accounting for his singular role in destroying the musical and peace inspiring icon, John Lennon.  Again for the fifth time, Chapman was denied parole and remains soldered to his destiny as the personified darkness that washed over one of the worlds brightest lights.  Chapman had this to say:

“I recognized that that 25-year-old man, I don’t think he really appreciated the life that he was taking, that this was a human being,” he said. “I feel now at 53 I have grown into a deeper understanding of what a human life is. I have changed a lot.”

He continued to talk about his yearning for notoriety and fame as a possible explanation for the murder of Lennon.

“I would be something other than a nobody, and that was my reasoning at the time,” Chapman said.

Ok, so it looks like Chapman will be receiving precisely what he put in the stars for himself.  He wanted notoriety, he wanted the attention…it’s unfortunate however that his mental instability failed to give him a sense of planning as his bid for that attention took him to a dark place that will give him all the infamy he desires, but he’ll be too busy behind bars to enjoy it.  Cosmic justice is sweet in all its glory.

So way to go Mark David!  You did it, you finally got what you wanted!!! A lot of attention and the sinister honor to say you killed John Lennon.  But, now you don’t get the benefit of hindsight.  You see…you don’t get to slaughter one of the world’s most loving voices that spoke and speaks to generations and now look back and make amends and still get the noteriety you sought.  You’re either the bad guy or the good guy here Mark, and you’ve already chosen your path…so good luck with the parole board in 2012, because here on the outside – nobody cares how much you’ve learned about yourself, you’re still a murdering loser, and we’re still trying to imagine it hasn’t happened.

Tom Waits – The Glitter and Doom Tour

So Tom Waits is on tour in the lower states and I wish I would have known about it earlier. Here’s an article I found discussing it a bit plus the person behind a few rare interviews. Through this link you can also hear his concert and download the show. I love Tom Waits – unique mind with a voice that feels like sandpaper in your ears. Copy and paste the link.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92916923

Baking Amy 7/8/2008

Amy Winehouse revealed this week that her new addiction is to tanning. Okay fine…I’ll bite on that one…but the real mystery is how a genius tanning parlor attendant convinced her that 40 watt bulbs can tan skin? Is she using the Easy-Bake Oven Tanning salon, because Winehouse is about as tan as a cube of ice?

Her friends and family, who are seemingly in a constant state of publicly stated heightened concern, are however not so sure this new addiction is a suitable replacement to heroin, hooch, and the very difficult addiction of spitting on and beating up paying fans. None the less, her friends have again come to her desperately underpublicized aid to clear the air after Winehouse purchased a tanning bed for home. According to Telegraph.co.uk a “friend” had this to say:

“She bought it to get rid of scabs that started appearing on her skin,” the friend said.

Nice. Did I really need to know that? Looks like somebody forgot to read The Unabridged Guide to Friendship. The next time I get something reminiscent of a flesh eating skin disorder I’ll make sure my friends share that information with the four corners of the news media. Secondly, why in the name of Pete Doherty would Winehouse use tanning as a medical means to treat reoccurring scabs when everyone knows that a good blood-letting will cure it in no time!

Either way…if that’s her new attention getting addiction then maybe it’ll take the pressure off her full time ambition to smoke her cracked out lungs into charred pieces of bacon bits. It’s not an easy thing when all your time is spent masterfully alienating your fans and demolishing your amazing voice while drunkenly defending the Trainspotting dead weight around your neck called a husband. The girl could really use a vacation from all of that and if providing excess doses of harmful skin-cancer inducing UV rays does the trick…I say GO FOR IT AMY! Besides, maybe all the radiation will give the early stage emphysema a run for its money.

On the other hand, perhaps Winehouse should stop this ridiculous addiction to addictions behavior and grow up. It’s depressing to those of us who sing badly in the shower to watch a musical talent with a provocative sound insist on driving the music out of her soul with every toxin this side of Keith Richards. Though, at least with this addiction she’ll have a nice half-cooked mini chocolate cake after her tanning sessions.