Is it just me or is Sylvester Stallone slowly morphing into Liza Minnelli??
Chaos ensued, children screamed, crumpets went flying as it was announce there was a possibility Sylvester Stallone would take the stage at the Palladium in London to star in the Sound of Music as Capt. Von Trapp. Perhaps I’ll be able to understand his Austrian accent better than his English.
Here’s the issue. So the withering presidential candidate, McCain, recently ran a political ad spearing Obama’s popularity and included carefully placed shots of Paris Hilton and Brittany Spears as comparisons. McCain seemed charged to point out that perhaps America is in love with the sweeping passion and star-like quality Obama exudes over Obama’s readiness to lead and experience in politics.
So that’s how John McCain rolls? Instead of buffing up his own image and doing damage control for the Republican Party, he’d rather point out how America and foreign nations prefer Obama due to the celebrity factor only. In a move I’m calling the Jan Brady’s Guide to Presidential Campaigns, McCain is desperately seeking to steal the attention from a more attractive, articulate public figure and it’s not going so well for Senator Straight Talk Express. I’m sure McCain awakes from a cold sweat every night shrieking in a Brady style whine, “Obama, Obama, Obama!!!” Unfortunately for him, George Glass isn’t his campaign manager, it’s not a high school dance on the line and a huge curly black afro wig isn’t going to change the Mastodon in the room…McCain’s age.
McCain apparently feels he’s equipped enough to call Americans sheep. He continues to imply they’re not hearing the real issues over the brilliant nature of Obama’s personality. John McCain is tired of being outspoken and outdone by Obama-mania, so he’s taken a scary tactic in trying to call Obama supporters uninformed for whom they pledge. So, let me say this, for nearly eight years the American people have been treated as though they are unintelligent by the Gomer Pyle elected commander in chief George W. Bush. The greasy current administration has undercut some fundamental American rights and kept the country in the midst of an unpopular foreign civil war, all the while telling inquiring citizens that it’s for America’s own good, as though this is a nation of children not owed an explanation and not the true backbone of America. Careful McCain…people get tired of bullies and particularly tired of being treated like they’re too simple to be involved in the decision making process.
Senator McCain should consider the possibility that Obama has struck such a chord with Americans because his nature is not to enforce a thought, but nurture the conversation around that thought. Perhaps the American people are attracted to a person who is so honest he stated this on his marijuana use as a young adult, “of course I inhaled, that was the point!” It’s that type of political honesty that attracts the masses, because they can relate. Bullies don’t relate to people. McCain should avoid these jealous attacks, let the people decide why they like a candidate and focus on looking younger, sharper, and less like another George W. Bush.
"Hey Big Spender!"
Nothing destroys the fantasy provided by a prostitute like a bun in the oven. It’s like finding a tattoo on your girlfriend’s butt that says, “Bob was here…”
Today, I woke up and felt just a brief glimmer of hope for man/woman-kind…and then I read a story on a pregnant prostitution ring recently busted in Camden County, Missouri. This took place near the Ozarks…a place famed for corn dogs, cheesy entertainment and the local lodge/nightclub Big Dick’s Halfway INN <—- I swear on my cat’s ass that’s a real lodge in the Ozarks.
So apparently a group of ladies who were in the family way decided to continue on with their chosen career path in the splendid and time honored tradition of performing sexual acts with complete strangers for some greenbacks. I must say I admire the dedication and work ethic displayed here. One of my friends took maternity leave during her pregnancy and all she was doing was data entry. These women are motivated!! Sex is (pardon the pun) labor intensive and I’m sure there were times when they just wanted to quit…give in…throw in the towel!! BUT NOT THESE GIRLS!! OOOHHH NOOOO! These women were obviously very focused in their craft in order to provide for a better life for their impending child.
What a coincidence...that's exactly how my face contorted when I heard Rosie O'Donnell was proposed a weekly variety show that would mirror The Carol Burnett Show.
Yesterday at a local Unitarian church in Knoxville, TN, Jim D. Adkisson a.k.a local jackass and yet another wasted psychotic who failed to see the problems in his life were of his own volition, walked in during a children’s rendition of the play Annie and began gunning innocents down with a shotgun. In the end five parishioners would be wounded and two would be dead.
Greg McKendry, one of the fatalities, has already been hailed an “angel” as he stepped courageously in front of the shotgun to thwart Adkisson’s efforts. The children, meanwhile, bore witness to all of this and in the end the shooter’s suicide plan to die in a hail of police gunfire backfired as he was tackled and restrained by various members of the congregation.
As early as the initial reports of the shooting there was speculation this was not random and in particular was aimed towards the Unitarian church for their liberal support which includes women’s rights and more recently support of gay/lesbian rights. The shooter’s four-page crazy tirade apparently included his diatribe on how liberals and gays were holding him back from procuring a job as a mechanical engineer. In addition to his blathering rant which makes sense to no one, the authorities discovered a letter from his local welfare office at Adkisson’s residence. Apparently he was put on notice to expect a reduction in his government allotted food stamps. So it seems this murderer is yet another in a series of people who seek to make excuses instead of make a life and when life isn’t handed to them on a silver platter, they decide to kill people instead.
The most interesting bit of this unbelievably sad story, is had the shooter simply walked in and sat down in the church pew and watched a play being given by these kids about a little girl named Annie who had a “hard knock life” and still faced every day with hope and a smile against forces more powerful than she, then perhaps Adkisson could have turned to the people he was about to shoot and given them a smile instead of his pain.
In entertainment news I’ll forget like a goldfish, it seems Matthew Broderick was caught with his pants down recently reprising his “Ferris Bueller” role as ‘Abe Froman the sausage king of Chicago.’
It was just announced without much gossipy warning that Broderick has cheated on Sarah Jessica Parker. Apparently while S.J.P was filming Sex in the City the Irony Fairy exploded as Broderick pursued a lot of sex in the city, but caddishly without his wife of 11 years. What could have driven Broderick into the arms of a gorgeously creamy 25 year old red-headed youth counselor? Could it be career envy? Is it mid-life crisis? Maybe S.J.P’s recent removal of her trademark mole drove him over the coiffing line? Nah…probably not. I’m guessing what drove Broderick into the arms of a woman who according to Star magazine nicknamed him “Matty Cakes” (a sure sign of intellectual compatibility) is probably the fact he wanted to get it on with someone other than Sarah Jessica Parker for awhile.
Can you blame the guy? I mean…if you’re not his wife.
My God….Gary Busey is right….bad is never good until worse happens. It’s like being on the lazy Susan of philosophy!!
Amy Winehouse revealed this week that her new addiction is to tanning. Okay fine…I’ll bite on that one…but the real mystery is how a genius tanning parlor attendant convinced her that 40 watt bulbs can tan skin? Is she using the Easy-Bake Oven Tanning salon, because Winehouse is about as tan as a cube of ice?
Her friends and family, who are seemingly in a constant state of publicly stated heightened concern, are however not so sure this new addiction is a suitable replacement to heroin, hooch, and the very difficult addiction of spitting on and beating up paying fans. None the less, her friends have again come to her desperately underpublicized aid to clear the air after Winehouse purchased a tanning bed for home. According to Telegraph.co.uk a “friend” had this to say:
“She bought it to get rid of scabs that started appearing on her skin,” the friend said.
Nice. Did I really need to know that? Looks like somebody forgot to read The Unabridged Guide to Friendship. The next time I get something reminiscent of a flesh eating skin disorder I’ll make sure my friends share that information with the four corners of the news media. Secondly, why in the name of Pete Doherty would Winehouse use tanning as a medical means to treat reoccurring scabs when everyone knows that a good blood-letting will cure it in no time!
Either way…if that’s her new attention getting addiction then maybe it’ll take the pressure off her full time ambition to smoke her cracked out lungs into charred pieces of bacon bits. It’s not an easy thing when all your time is spent masterfully alienating your fans and demolishing your amazing voice while drunkenly defending the Trainspotting dead weight around your neck called a husband. The girl could really use a vacation from all of that and if providing excess doses of harmful skin-cancer inducing UV rays does the trick…I say GO FOR IT AMY! Besides, maybe all the radiation will give the early stage emphysema a run for its money.
On the other hand, perhaps Winehouse should stop this ridiculous addiction to addictions behavior and grow up. It’s depressing to those of us who sing badly in the shower to watch a musical talent with a provocative sound insist on driving the music out of her soul with every toxin this side of Keith Richards. Though, at least with this addiction she’ll have a nice half-cooked mini chocolate cake after her tanning sessions.
