Lohan calls Obama first “colored” President – She’s so retro!

Lindsay Lohan - Trendsetter and Racial Uniter!

What does Lindsay Lohan do when she’s not busy stuffing blow up her nose, ramming her car into unsuspecting motorists while intoxicated, grinding on Samantha Ronson, wishing for a career, and praying that someday her mom could be a real mom instead of a stage handling booze pushing friend?

She promotes civil rights progress with a term that throws us back to late 19th century.

In an interview with Access Hollywood this week, Lindsay praises the president-elect Obama and his win by stating he will be “Our first colored president.”  Hmmm, I think I’ve heard that term before…by my wrinkly 90 year old grandma.

Of course people are stunned, but why I ask?  Education obviously took a backseat to her mom’s vicarious ambition for a career.  Or did it?

The term “colored” began in colonial times and was regarded as not only an acceptable term for the black community, but also considered to be a polite reference. Then during the civil rights movement, black society affixed a taboo on the word thus silently declaring a social war against the term and opting for the terms “person’s of color” – “African American” – or “Black.”

As we all know, Lindsay is a trendsetter.  A woman who is capable of swaying the public’s opinion in new, innovative, and exciting ways! She’s not sheltered and uneducated with a family tree written by Archie Bunker.  Clearly Lohan is not only educated on the black struggle (which is evident from how many extensions her scalp can cling to) but she’s obviously a fan in the subject of black history and is showing us something new! Something fresh! She’s not insensitive or uneducated people! She’s retro!

Thanks Lindsay for showing everyone how daring you can be!  For the record though, I’d scrap any plans of White House invitations.

Brave 13 Year Old Declines Heart Translpant

I’d like to say I could have even a fraction of this child’s courage.  What courage you say?  Well, how about the courage to face the unknown of your own demise.  It’s almost an unreal task for any average person, but as we all hope, it should be unthinkable for a 13 year girl.

Though, in Britain this week, a girl named Hannah Jones convinced authorities and hospital officials she is better off without a new heart.  She apparently also conveyed that after being diagnosed with Leukemia at the age of 4 and a subsequent lifelong battle against a heart disease called Cardiomyopathy, she would like nothing else but to be home with her brothers, sisters, and parents without further treatment.

Both her parents, her father an auditor and mother an intensive care nurse, say they are upset that the hospital brought forth official action to place Hannah in foster care in order to authorize the transplant. Even doctors say that if Hannah had a successful transplant surgery, the drugs to help her body maintain her new heart could spur a new round of Leukemia leaving their efforts barren.

So, it was with this information Hannah made a choice of quality rather than quantity.  And as someone who has had a sobering journey watching people withering on deathbeds, fighting diseases that not only ravage a body but rob the happiness of a soul, I understand this decision.

While some may judge their parents unfit to allow such a thing, preaching actions of whatever it takes to save a child, I ask you to consider the life itself.  When we save someone are we really saving them or our broken hearts?

So…cheers to you Hannah and may your life be consumed with the quality of happiness, joy, new memories, and experiences outside the brave hospital life you have known.  For life is always quality and never quantity.

The OJ Simpson Variety Hour

What? You mean I was convicted of something?

So Mr. Simpson was convicted recently of more random OJ acts of total insanity.  He is one of the most exonerated and absolutely conscienceless criminals in American history.  So in honor of the conviction that will finally put this infamous criminal in the big house….I give you a reprisal of my article originally posted on The Des Moines Register written almost one year ago when the shit started hitting the fan for Nordberg…..enjoy.

11/14/07

The OJ Simpson Variety Hour

O.J Simpson is like a really bad case of hemorrhoids. One nearly needs a surgical procedure to remove him from the public spot light. This time however, things could turn out badly for the Juice. Yes ladies and gentleman, the acquitted but obviously guilty murderer we love to hate has done something impulsive and violent to solve his problems once again…allegedly. Are you done feigning shock yet? Ok…let’s continue.

Simpson, along with two other men, is charged with an array of felony kidnapping and armed robbery charges in Las Vegas. The charges came after a rag tag group assembled by Simpson, who is obviously learning disabled, held captive via automatic pistols a room of memorabilia dealers with some of his alleged stolen personal stuff. Now three individuals have cut deals with prosecutors for bearing witness against hurricane juice.

I’ve heard a lot of conversation on TV where people are asking the obvious questions. One question is, “Why is he charged for trying to get his own stuff back?”

Well…good question. Wouldn’t you know it; the law has an answer for that…two wrongs don’t make a right. If someone steals my stuff, I can’t organize a posse led by a former NFL champion and a circus of thugs in tow. Simpson apparently has confused himself with someone who can get away with murder….*roll eyes here*

Next question, “Why should the man who nearly decapitated the mother of his children and stabbed to death her best friend get a fair trial after the scales of justice were melted down and incinerated in his favor in 1995?”

Also a good question…and every time I visualize O.J. Simpson’s smug, delusional face I renew my Karma Weekly subscription. The sad fact is O.J. is going to get a fair trial like Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman didn’t get in 1995, because we can’t let a few Ito’s spoil the bunch. Our system needs to operate consistently, post Simpson murder trial, because if we start to let our feelings get in the way it will set a precedence and we will inconsistently judge others on trial. So even if O.J. belongs six feet under for the atrocities he’s committed, he’s unfortunately already been judged for that crime by 12 seriously dim witted jurors. He’s been judged in the public forum however, and Simpson knows with every glare that he’s been convicted.

So…am I surprised he’s in trouble again? No. I just want him to go away because every time I see the news with his greasy grin on the screen it’s a constant reminder that along with help from Ito and 12 jurors, O.J. mocked our judicial system and those he murdered 13 years ago. So pretty please….with sugar on top….Las Vegas can you please put this man behind bars. WHOEVER happens in Vegas…stays in Vegas.

Where am I anyway?

redundancy at its best

Hey guys….so I’ve neglected my thousands…uh….dozens of readers by being away for a couple months.  You may be able to tell that I needed a slight break because my last three entries I posted were videos instead of writing.  What a cop out!  Anyway – with the election coming up and more BS in the news now more than ever, I decided to dive back in now that I’m doing a bit better personally.  No worries….nothing serious….just life.

Cats. A video of obsession.

Shoe Art Video – I am in love with this! Recycle.

Crap o’ The Day.

complete cry baby and 100% insane. no question.

This is a little moment I’m calling Crap O’ the Day – my brief thoughts on three current events.

1) Have you ever wanted the coveted seat in a car we refer to as “Shotgun” so much you were willing to kill for it?  A guy in Louisiana wanted it so bad he actually took a box cutter and slashed his friends throat in order to claim shotgun.  I bet he was really pissed when he had to sit in the back of a cop cruiser.

2)  Hillary Clinton has proved how willing she is to “cross party lines” for the greater good of the American people.  When she heard Palin was attending a rally to support Isreal and talk smack about Iran’s lunatic president, she became angry and pulled out of her committment to go.  Hmmm.  Show support for Jews in Isreal against Ahmadinejad’s ethnocentric ideals or be seen with Palin?  I don’t like Palin, but Hillary gets the “Big Fucking Deal” award for this move as this was a bipartisan event.  Nice job crossing those party lines you feminist carpet bagging cry baby.

3)  I love my soda, but would I serve 6 months in jail for it…maybe.  But it would have to be a damn good reason and most likely involve Captain Morgan.  A lady in Idaho who escorts her dad regularly to the V.A. Hospital is facing 6 months by the Feds for noncompliance when the clerk demanded $3.80 instead of $1.50 for her soda refill and after a scuffle ensued, spilling her soda on the counter.  U.S. Attorney Tom Moss is bringing federal charges against this woman.  Excess much Tom?  This is complete nonsense and a total waste of time and taxpayer dollars.  Anyway, after the nationwide press this story just received in the last day, I’m sure U.S. Attorney Tom Moss is about to learn the sad news that he’s reached his level of incompetence.  Bye Tom!

Find the man in the coffee beans.

Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, the right half of your brain is better developed than most people. If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, the right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger!!!

Val Kilmer Gov. of New Mexico?

GET IN MA' BELLY!

The guy who brought us true 80’s spirit in Real Genius, tight manly medieval pants as Madmartigan in Willow, and more recently authentic Hollywood gayness in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang – could be carefully gauging the 2010 office of Governor of New Mexico.  You may know the man who currently holds the position as former Democratic presidential hopeful Bill Richardson, or as I like to call him the sheepish guy catching the flying daggers between Obama and Clinton during democratic debates.

Anyway, the interesting part of this is Kilmer registered to vote in his resident state of NM in 1992 yet has failed to cast ONE vote since that time.  That’s super because I like my Governors-elect to have an unclear voting record.  It makes things less messy that way.  Just ask John Kerry.

Pink Floyd’s Rick Wright Dead at 65.

us and him.

The man who penned “The Great Gig In The Sky” and “Us And Them” from Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon, has died of cancer at age 65 this week.  My sole statement is that Pink Floyd has altered not only the world, but helped to alter it’s state of conciousness for years with it’s music.  It’s different, unique, and so was Wright who’s led a musical path of the unknown and left a legacy of unrivaled steps.  How deep his imprint on music and our ears.